I would suggest you try these because they will increase your natural produce of testosterone without the side effects you mention. On fantasy world would be 24/7! My opinion only, so, most likely only worthy in my estimation. , checking in with yourself is also good. Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. Hey People, when a woman no longer wants sex with a man, it means she is likely not attracted to him anymore. What shes done to me all these years was downright evil ! In the room. Sometimes the answers are only inside of us. There is one other medical condition relating to touch called allodynia. })(); How To Romantically Flirt With Your Spouse? She says she loves me but cant stand to touch me. Discussing the problem is a problem in itself because she simply get very irritated and by it and thats the end of that! Am I ugly? During the first twenty- five years of our marriage we were both church goers and sent our son to Catholic schools, but we both now feel that religion doeset always have all the answers. It will never balance out. I heard my uncles talk about sex like it was something from their youth that has long gone. Our finances have never been merged and the only money between us has been my initial investment in her business. Thats great but what about the man? My husband and I separated recently. You can help by mediating such issues or chalking a way out of the problem together, to restore her peace of mind and bring back the passion in your bedroom. NOw he works well and Im proud of him for that. He had at least 9 different jobs, years of unemployment with me working overtime 12 hrs night shifts (RN here). I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) I am very hormonal being athletic and take DHEA supplements which enhance desire. I guess my story isnt as bad as many. I said well, (while pointing to my head) by the time you heal I will have checked out up here, I will be looking at women and wondering if they would be fun to be with. By Joan Price Even too much Viagra can cause things like blindness. Theres nothing wrong with giving yourself sexual pleasure. Ask your wife about how she's feeling about the relationship, about you, and about your life together, and see how you can get your relationship back to a good place. Love and mutual respect must be the basis for any human relationship. So, I know my only option is accept this is my life from here on. Four years of treatment, a fried heart valve replacement due to radiation. I knew I had to do something. (You might want to share with her an excellent resource about responsive desire, Emily Nagoskis book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.). It may not really mean anything bigger at all. My shower massagers has gotten me through years but it never will replace that hard feeling down inside me that I long for, yet believe now I will never feel again and Im only in my 50s. He is always sitting alone. I still love my wife dearly and I am committed to her but I have to take care of myself. Then if you still have to, decide. Thanks Buck for being brutally honest, I can relate to it and know how much painful it is, seeing your wife everyday but I cant even hold her because shell embarrass me with a comeback that all I want is sex and Ill get humiliated and will just eventually die inside. Arthritis: No Cure, But Ways to Ease the Pain. Thats a depressing thought too. What we have Ive worked very hard to achieve. When women say that theyre exhausted, men can often take it as a personal rejection without realizing that she woke up at 5 a.m. As a matter of fact, if shes not enjoying herself, I stop. Please explain to me. Holding on and hoping we can work it out, for now Im giving him space. My wife never initiates any form of Intimacy let alone Sex. I quit sex because I didnt want to put with name calling and her being boring. I could do as well financially as a single person and there are women who would be happy with what I can provide, both financially and intimately. WFT. We dated for 30 years and finally got married. If done with the full knowledge of both partners, and always using safe sex, this would provide another solution to their dilemma. You're focusing too much on just the sexual aspect of . This is the best I have read. I know that it sounds crazy but I never thought about it but that part of our problem came to a head after our 35 year old son (our only child) was killed in an on the job accident. I love her to death but cant stand to be around her anymore. My husband and I have been married 6 years. Feminism has a lot to answer for; there seems to be too many mismatched females being vocal, when this has been a male affliction to be saddled with an undersexed female. The woman is doing two jobs, especially during the pandemic. It got to the point that he wanted sex badly and was about to lose his mind. Your email address will not be published. Will, I dont see ruling the relationship and demanding that a wife relieve her husband, even if shes sore or unwilling, as a solution to anything except an unhappy wife. If the sex is all about you, its no surprise that your partner may not want to indulge in it. But. Ive tried all the normal things too. The guy is obviously attracted to you and enjoys your company or why the 30 year dating? I am sorry I stayed, but life, illness, dementia parents and a son kept me in this sexless marriage. Says I dont turn him on Im to fat. Then theres the masturbation/porn thing. But if its truly my duty.. A lack of emotional connection can make it hard for women to establish physical intimacy, even with their own life partner. And you are wasting your life . She would never agree to an open relationship and I shouldnt be unhappy. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. It is possible that a lack of sex may have shifted your focus on physical intimacy whereas a lack of emotional intimacy may be driving your wife away from the idea of sex. */ Ive even had the gumption to suggest that if HE doesnt desire sex, then maybe he could still give me pleasure. I appreciate that No outside agency or individual can fix anything yet they get their fix of adulation with tired Info. Or when it doesnt really get hard, does the throbbing stop also in men? Why do women marry a good provider and run around with the empty pocket young studs? I hear you bro. As I recall when we first started dating we were watching porn together. My husband is 46 gringo! We both have health issues Be explicit about your needs and expectations. She has become a roommate and a friend, but not a wife that gives me the joy and love we used to have. Be patient with her as she works on herself, and the two of you refocus on your marriage. Just give him some and hopefully he will stop keeping you awake. Wrong! With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. I am now trying to get into health club manament and the barriers for that seem less difficult. I am a man who has been married for 48 years and to read The man must rule by demanding to get what he wants suggests a serious mental illness. I have hypertension and medications have affected my ability to get an erection. I think he wanted to stay in his marriagemainly I think b/c his wife earns well (makes more money than him). On the other hand, another reason your wife is never in the mood may be related to menopause. She has no interest in any positions other than missionary even though I love other positions. I also went down on her regularly, and now she doesnt even want me to try. both my parents are senior. Agree, I have accepted the fact Im now in a sexless marriage, ugh! . You are so right, I should leave but feel guilty, leaving over sex. s.src = 'https://EXAMPLE.disqus.com/embed.js'; But we are kidding ourselves if we somehow justify a womans position requiring fidelity in a sexless marriage. A woman needs to hear that over and over again, or else she will think that you don't love her anymore (it's contrary to most men, who can be told a thing once and. Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? Many marriages are suffering in this area, and even the strongest and most supportive husbands feel isolated from their wives. Im in my 50s and after years without feeling that hardness inside me anymore, I often find myself thinking about the next 30 years without. It's a horrible feeling to want sex, but not want it with your partner. This is not rocket science, bro. High blood pressure I want to turn things around and not give up but its a huge blow to what I thought marriage and my life would be. .! 10 year sexless marriage. Another reason my wife never initiates physical contact may be due to hormonal changes. Is like 5 times a year.! Choosing a date of the week for example, in which she will be the one to request it. Once menopause hit her desire for sex evaporated. She has the house and I have my private place seperate from the main house. All this can cause a person to go into anger and hibernate. Ive been in one for about 47 years and Im the cause of it. But we dont have sex or make love or anything you want to call it! I set up a Revenge cheat. Just shows how woman dont know anything about other women. What does it mean when your wife doesn't show affection? She refuses to talk about it. My problem is my husband is still very much interested. Yeah Andrew me too. . Start your own discussion on this topic on Senior Planet Community. Wake up. Peace. My other half sees it as rejection and makes angry threats. It literally saved my marriage and maybe my life. We are all misogynistic pigs that just need a hole for our poles. This will make intimacy a million times more enjoyable for both partners. Give her some time to destress by setting up a candlelit bath with her favorite essential oils and bath soak. Youre saying I love her, etc etc and she couldnt care less? Men empathize with women in a way that women do not with men; men *want* to make decisions that benefit women, individually and as a group (the Women are Wonderful effect, which both men and women exhibit). My wife has no desire for . Home Articles Marriage Sex 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. Withholding sex as punishment is hostile you deserve better. This is when a person is so sensitive to touch that they try to avoid being touched by another person because of the pain it causes them. As far as foreplay goes, either I dont know how to do it or she doesnt like to be touched unless she is in the mood. Im 63, sexless for many years, and your essay really hit home. Our devastation has completely made intimacy and sex impossible. I love him and want to please him even if I feel nothing or just help him reach release. In long-term relationships, sex can be the fastest route for . We signed for our first mortgage when she was in ICU with fourth-stage cancer. So all women who married men and saw this first hand, from 14 to 80. Add Cialis if you want solid tree trunk hardness. Im 57 and my husband is 56 years old. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! 39 TRUST ME RUN Dont walk Dont ruin your life!!!! But on the other side Id the coin, Im dying for not having any kind of touch. Perhaps your husband, as well as a few troglodytes posting here, are in need of some attitude adjustments, but you shouldnt paint all men with the same brush. She likely doesn't want you to touch her bc whenever you do it leads to an implied intimacy interaction she doesn't want. Basically though, he refuses to talk about this issue with me or anyone else, namely a doctor/therapist, and claims he likes our life the way it is. Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. Less. Hi Theresa, I might even know you, you sound just like someone I know. I have come to that conclusion also. No human being should dominate another person. and I feel I have been cheated. Every month Senior Planets award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. But this past 6 months I see things slipping and I feel we are not getting that closeness and are becoming more distant even though we do many things together. When the support isnt there, the emotional intimacy and the physical intimacy are going to suffer. . That leaves us with so many perverts running around today inept at forming a real relationship, fantasy is in sadly. Especially if you once had a, One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related. It may be helpful for her to speak with her doctor about her struggles with libido, if relevant, to see if an adjustment in her treatment plan may help. Ive been led to believe Im the selfish one for thinking of leaving just over sex. I am male. When emotional intimacy dies a slow death in your relationship, its possible that it could signal an affair. For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. Its been a slow process in development, heading to the place we have arrived in our relationship. This causes them to shy away from physical intimacy. So, Thomas maybe your right they must be doing it wrong. Initially, it probably was mostly about the sex. Yet she constantly professes love. For everything there is a season. Start by considering and working through any and all interpersonal, emotional, and relationship issues. There are many types of intimacy, and they tend to dovetail. So sorry to read this Pamela, Im in the same boat with my lovely wife, terribly depressing. He (so far) said no. Sex ended, period. So.. The precursor for any affair is emotional intimacy, says Gopa. var d = document, s = d.createElement('script'); That may be one reasons why so many husbands. Always happy to help. Thanks for listening. He has no interest. I think the resolve here is to tell the parent who is confiding in you to seek professional help, and then bud out. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. She needs you to see the world from her eyes and to understand her perspective. Oh stfu. Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? Addie,maybe we should trade spouses.lol.im in the same boat you are.i love to get intamate and hug and kiss and cuddle.my wife 0.unreal.she told me the other day she dont even like sex anymore after we had it.how nice to say that.unreal. Ive moved on!!! When having sex she has to do most of the work especially when it takes him 45 minutes to get hard and all she wants to do is go to sleep because tommorow will come before she knows it or if one of the kids wakes up because they couldnt sleep or they are sick. He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. She has rejected counseling and even criticizes my masterbation or porn. We are still asexually active and every time we see couples enjoying sex, it puts extreme sadness in our souls because we are faithful to our partner. Tired of initiating intimacy? Even if it is difficult, do everything you can to put yourself in her shoes. My husband stopped 25 years ago when he couldnt get it up. 5509 W. Gray Street, Suite 100Tampa, FL 33609(813) 222-8300, Copyright 2022 Family First, INC. All Rights Reserved.Site Design by Design Extensions, 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. Youre right that its a huge, painful problem. Each year for three years, she assured me she would seek help from a wholistic doctor, which never happened. This was an enlightening comment and reflects what has been my marriage for 35 years. Grab Now! One of the scariest reasons your wife wont have sex with you may be that she has feelings or is being intimate with someone else. With a lot of talk and communication, we have made peace with our sex life. I dont understand. Your Wife Seems Uncomfortable When You Initiate Foreplay. i rejected it, because I have become detached, unhappy and frustrated. married 57 years. Dont know what todo he wont talk about his Shes happen because we dont have sex or have any form of intimacy. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. the women stop trying once you give them what they want. When your wife avoids physical contact, it could be because of resentment, 13. Makes me feel worth lessnot worthless.worth. Not addressing the problem out of fear of confrontation will only make matters worse. Please, do us all a favor and retire from the one thing you SHOULD be retiring from-giving advice. Did your husband cheat on you after you stop having sex with him? We were easy pickings since that biological clock was ticking louder and she still hadnt landed Chad. He treats me like a food friend and we do get along otherwise. It Might pass , 45 is menopausal years and I was once told by a friend older than me at the time that it can be like a light switch once you are through menopause and that can be true because what drives sexual desire , it has much to do with hormones and post menopause or during, a women losses a tremendous amount of hormones and hormone replacement ( they will many x use birth control for that) makes one sick or intolerant and I have read many articles in the past that hormone replacement can put one of high risk of cancer in older women, please I am far from a Dr. not even close, but this is what I have gathered along the way.