milkshake dirty jokes

That's a huge miscommunication! "/"One guess" to "Bite the weenie, Riz"/"With relish," there is a lot of shameless, and not at all subtle, flirting going on. buried in thy eyes; and moreover I will go with. helpful non helpful. 45. More Dirty Jokes. 46. Sandy and Danny are doomed. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Did you hear about the dairy cow in an earthquake? A waist of time. The royal earrings Whats a cows favorite James Taylor song? My, What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you? Why did one banana spy on the other? Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? 28. I mean, where would we be without them? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" It was impossible to put down. 8. 7. The very first time we meet Danny and Sandy in Grease they're on the beach at the end of summer. If your animal-loving kid is constantly singing "Old McDonald" or "Baa-Baa Blacksheep," then these cow jokes, puns, and riddles will make their day. What do you call a cow that can't stop shaking? What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? It was a beautiful waterfall!!!". Who discovered fire ", A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Kid: Homework! A girl rings the doorbell of a house and an older man comes out, quite grumpy: Hes all right now! 12. How do you make the worlds greatest Harlem Shake? RELATED: Animal memes you cant help but laugh at. ? One cow says to the other "what do you think about the mad cow disease? In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? 7. What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline? 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. You should learn it, its pretty handy. ", One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. My thoughts are with his family. Millions die in the stampede. With a pair of Ceasars. What do you call a fake noodle? The song may be one of the most popular and beloved songs to come from Grease, but it's also majorly problematic, particularly nowadays with everything we know about rape culture and issues of consent. One is a cat copy; the other is. Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey's original 1971 musical was so popular it was adapted into a movie just seven years after its inception. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. 13. What did one butt cheek say to the other? Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Two ladies are picking turnips and one of them says to the other: 5. } ); What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? If you feel like youve herd all these cow puns before, you probably have deja-moo. A new hybrid. But lines like "Did you get very far?" * Relatives milkshake dirty jokes 16 .. Nevertheless, we can always use a good laugh! Whats better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race? Danny is well aware of what kind of lady Sandy is, yet he still thinks he can convince her to fool around in the middle of a packed, outdoor movie theater. I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. Damn Lunar! What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? More From Thought Catalog. What do my dad and Nemo have in common? The punchline was supposed to be, "A milkshake! There's an argument to be made about how Danny technically changes himself too, in order to be good enough for Sandy. The place is the least of it While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Whether it's the slut-shaming of poor Rizzo (the best character overall, which we'll get into more in-depth soon), Frenchie's description of Cha Cha as the girl with the "worst reputation" at her high school, or the leader of rival gang The Scorpions telling Kenickie he'll give him 75 cents for his car "including your chick," the movie isn't shy about implying that women are beneath men. Between friends we are not going to charge ? Tell that to six million Jews. ", A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything.". But animals are at their funniest when they're the butt of the jokewhich is why we've rounded up the the best animal jokes, of all time, ever. At first I was really worried about my ex wife when we split up. They had beef. I wasnt close to my father when he died. They both cant be found. Did you hear the pun about the cow that jumped over the house? Bo-Vine.78. His hopes were dim. The whole thing is engineered to show off how much Danny is lying about the dirtier elements of the summer fling, while Sandy coos about how romantic it all was, meaning the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. Like Coca-Cola! A milkshake. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. All are white, except for one which is black., Ok, I wont tell about the baby if you dont tell about the sheep.. #1 for Parents and Teachers! What does a field mouse and a pile of grass have in common. Whats the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Think youve herd them all? The steaks are high. Me: heres a cup of milk. Or, you know, have it remooooooved.76. This is either down to good genes, plastic surgery, healthy living, or the fact that none of them were all that young to begin with. I have a decent joke about a cow, but its pretty offensive, so Ill probably need to take it down. Did you hear about the breed of cows that are unable to stop laughing? She says "youre the one that got me a milkshake. When he grows up, it probably wont seem so strange what they they are doing. He tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they tried out. Bison!41. 31. 14. He isnt strong enough to lift either of them. The Best Dark Humor Jokes. In other words: when everyone has calmed down from whatever happened before the joke was made, there is less tension in the room, and its easier tolaugh about it. (new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=38cf8a01-c7b4-4a61-a61b-8c0be6528f20&cid=877050e7-52c9-4c33-a20b-d8301a08f96d'; cnxps.cmd.push(function () { cnxps({ playerId: "38cf8a01-c7b4-4a61-a61b-8c0be6528f20" }).render("6ea159e3e44940909b49c98e320201e2"); }); Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking? In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Whos there? Where do cows get all their medicine? "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. 4. Dirty jokes and awful pick up lines go hand in hand. Sure, man. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. Stockard Channing was 34, Jeff Conaway was 28, and Olivia Newton-John was 30. You'll bring boys to the yard". 2022 Galvanized Media. 19. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. If you thought that with the turnip the repertoire of dirty jokes with vegetables had ended, you were wrong. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? It kowtows.80. Milkshakes So we were on our way back from the grocery store, with our groceries bagged in the back of the car. 25. In any other movie, this would be a gross little nod, but Rydell's staff happen to go above and beyond for their students. I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought, 4 year old asks, Daddy can I have milkshakes for breakfast?. Women of a certain age will have watched it over and over again throughout their lives, sharing inside jokes with friends, family members, and colleagues.Now, another generation is discovering the movie, and the stage show from which it was adapted, thanks in at least small part to Grease: Live. The chicken was still keeping up. A milkshake. The answer is actually much more interesting. Whats the difference between a baby and a baked potato? Title of the movie. Otherwise, they might have to work on sundaes. She tells her there's no such thing as a special guy, and tries to put her off even telling the story. I'm a helicopter.". What has the lone cow been up to lately? An instagram. * He told me not to even touch the eggs, the friend the protagonist of our dirty joke from before. In flashback, it's fine. 10. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." Mom, mom, how do you explain that dad is black, you are white and I am yellow Everyone loves a playful knock-knock joke, but these cow knock-knock jokes are udderly hysterical. Dark humor jokes also help people ease their uncomfortable feelings by allowing them some sort of release laughter! 31. What happens when you talk to a cow? * Give me some powder, Im hot! At least they drive slowly through school zones. Her so-called boyfriend even jokes that "a hickie from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card" as though that's somehow going to make her feel prouder of the marks on her neck. What would you hear at a cow concert? Here is a list of messages to inspire you, to post on facebook or instagram or to send it to the person you love. What do you call a redneck motorcycle? Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. How much does a hipster weigh? Knock, knock. louisandmelcomics.wordpress.com. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? A couple is in the countryside, and he begins to perform oral sex on her: For clarity, the year Grease was released, the youngest cast member was John Travolta at 24. What did everyone call the cows husband who just slept all day? It's lactose versus intolerance, Why did the cow jump up and down Eek. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Lucky for you, we have jokes for all the best animals, including bird jokes, duck jokes, horse jokes, why did the chicken cross the road jokes, and even some pig puns that will make you squeal with laughter. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? The missionary, having been a devout Christian his entire life, asked to see the child. 17. That's one of the short adult jokes. The shovel was a ground breaking invention. One brand's supplements are being recalled over the serious safety hazard they could present to consumers. 3. What do you call an alligator who is a thief? What did one cow thief say to the other before their big heist? CHIRON Thou hast undone our mother.AARON Villain, I have done thy mother. Even Marty and Sonny make more of an effort with each other. The children, involuntary protagonists of the most bawdy dirty jokes. That cow then jumped over a barbed wire fence. Cow says. * Yes. Paco, do you like threesomes My dog was leaning against me and started itching a scratch, causing my son and I to vibrate. Wanna take the joke a little far? We recommend our users to update the browser. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard What milk says to cocoa 35. Mine's got one at the top and one at the bottom. Legendairy On its surface, it's a plaintive romantic ballad about how screwed up she is. Moscow.84. For example, they might make fun of serious stuff like death, murder, wars, and so on. 18. Chiron confronts Aaron, his mother's lover, whom he believes is responsible for . Mashed potatoes What do you call a mythical milkshake? A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. * How many people will there be He knows milkshakes bring The Boys to the yard. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog? 20. She's the only one of the girls who gets a proper arc, who makes mistakes and then learns from them, has plenty of funny moments (like when she makes fun of Marty's glasses because "you can still see your face"), andgets the best song too. Before all that, however, Rizzo winds Danny up for staring longingly at Sandy by asking if someone is "snaking" him. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." What cheese can never be yours? What do you call a cow in an earthquake? No, they are prostitutes, but they are hungry. What did the cow and bull do for their first date? pflugerville police incident reports Whats the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles? What is more amazing than a talking dog? eat Dad: You think that's bad?! A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans. And why on the ground What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. My family went to an ice cream place last night particularly known for their milkshakes. "You're. 15. It's unclear how the night ends for the two of them until the drive-in when one, throwaway line to Rizzo lets us in on just what type of a guy Vince Fontaine turned out to be. Why do milking stools only have three legs? And then, it happens. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. Why do some men walk with their legs bowed to the sides Im the one whos gonna have to walk all the way back to the car by myself.. Because, Where did the cow want to go on Friday night? thee to thy uncle's. Beatrice and Benedick are famous for their zingy dialogue, but . The missionary attempted to explain this to the chief, saying: Chief, this child suffers from a condition of the skin which changed its color to white. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. Two friends, one of them says to the other: What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? RELATED: 45 Best Riddles For Kids That Wont Be Too Hard To Solve. That's right, the stakes were really high. What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake? It doesn't matter, it is never going to hear you. And then I told my therapist that I feel seen, but not herd, RELATED:Horse puns that will make you whinny. It only takes 2 for a party * Fine, but yesterday I went to the doctor and he told me that my cholesterol was very high A milkshake, What do cows do when there first introduced? Rewriting the Disney classics What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Childhood in the trash in 3,2,1, 9. What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? Why does the baby smile everytime his mom exercises? What is an evening of self-care for a cow? There are just too many play-on-words not to have a bunch of cow puns at your disposal at the next eventhopefully on a farm. No one counted on this surprise guest to start the party . What do you call a cow with all of its legs? But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Comprehension problems Citizen collaboration is essential for a good coexistence, there is no doubt about that. What did the cow say to the cheese? The cow was so excited for the day ahead that he was over the moon. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. 40. Marty is one of Grease's most underrated characters. It gets, What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? 1. 5. If your animal-loving kid is constantly singing Old McDonald or Baa-Baa Blacksheep, then these cow jokes, puns, and riddles will make their day. You try finding thirty-two old guys. Dissolvable relationships "That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. The lack of sex is also a recurring theme in the short dirty jokes that make us laugh so much. Just like a little boy with cancer, dark humor never gets old. A cross eyed teacher couldnt control his pupils. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? My sister got her wisdom teeth out and I took care of her while my parents were at work. As previously discussed, Rizzo is the best character in Grease. 35. My milkshake brings, the boys to Mint chocolate chip milkshake. I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day.Guess you could call it a rare experience.73. Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job. Honey, let me know when you have an orgasm There is a man, he is dying in his bed in his home. It's a powerful, fist-pumping, yet still devastatingly raw moment for the strongest female character in the movie. 54. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?". -. A, What's the difference between a cat and a frog? Absolutely! Clothes getting wet and you just thinking about sex! Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. 31. Then, she lays down on the bench, sunning herself, during her one line ("cause he sounds like a drag"). Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. 64. Please give this bear some religion!" Coca-Cola, since 1886, spreading happiness.. Bison. Skimping on expenses We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. Im lucky I have no idea what theyre talking about 21. "How do they taste?" Grease is an institution. 61 Minecraft Jokes To Make You Chuckle (for Adults & Kids), 68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho! Where do cows get all their medicine? What do you call a cow in an earthquake? ), 67 Funniest Football Jokes to Kick It Off with Your Friends. And if you're looking for more animal jokes to add to your list, check out our joke pages on horses, llamas, chickens, and more. Whenever I go to the supermarket with my dad Did you hear what Alaskan cows produced today? Calm down man! Original Substitutes I came to buy a dildo, the one I had was damaged. What happens when a cow falls down the stairs? Their romance isn't even the most captivating. He said "No whey!" My sister: I'll have a chocolate shake, too. Obviously a hearty dad-chuckle follows each of these actions. Lean beef.71. ", The other cow responds "Why should I care? 40. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? In such situations, here are the best longer dark jokes you can tell: A man and a little boy are walking through the woods one night. Similar to the dodgy sexual politics, virtually every second line of dialogue inGreaseis an innuendo. Their easy rapport, with McGee scolding her useless assistant while clearly harboring a huge amount of warmth for her, is really lovely and it sells what are often the slowest moments in teen movies such as this (i.e. Well, change them, because the neighbor has made copies! What do cows produce during an earthquake? A beast is on the loose 30. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? * Well, first Normal, then Light and now Zero Little Red Riding Hood! With that answer, we understand why he did it. Grease's Rydell High is an aspirational school for many reasons, including but not limited to the massive carnival in the football field to celebrate graduation. Ground beef. * BAH! How I wish I could do that! My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize. She asked. Cause you are about to have a mouth full of wood. Do you have any flaws More Dirty Riddles for Adults Well, since you've made it this far, then your dirty mind should be able to the uptight and straight-laced. 68. 18. 28. 36. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid. Not everyone gets it. And so much of their dynamic is communicated without words. If your repertoire is already obsolete, we hope you can expand it with some of our contributions, many of which are timeless classics of humor. An Impasta. 14. 45 Best Riddles For Kids That Wont Be Too Hard To Solve. One of the standout lyrics sees Kenickie asking Danny, "Did she put up a fight?" 18. The full-scale TV production was loaded with glitz and glamour, giving Grease a modern tint. * Well yes, enough. Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? The boy turns to the man and says: Youre scared? replies the man. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. ? I have some real beef with that guy. What do you do with a dead chemist? What is the trickiest part about making skimmed milk? I am your father.44. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. ? Milkshakes and ice cream will cease to exist and the world would end as we know it! * Pinocchio, while masturbating What do you call a cow that can part water? 69. You can't, What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=44b484f8-0629-48d4-834d-f4d4a7e8fe07&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=861557959669011891'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); 1. Most of us will have spent many years trying to work out whatKenickie'sline "Nobody's jugs are bigger than Annette's," which precedes "Summer Nights" and is part of a rather rude discussion about poor Sandy, means in Grease. A milkshake At least they drive slowly through school zones. 5. 31. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. Rizzo might have had good reason not to take part in "Summer Nights" though. However, they can also involve more lighthearted subjects such as race relations/racism, gender issues, or disabilities. How did the dairy farmer locate his missing cow? So while animals are often looked at for being cute companions, they can also be downright hilarious. * Well, go home, your wife has started without you. "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go. It was sole destroying. They say theres safety in numbers. He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" A long way 16. Mom: I will have a chocolate shake please. Did you enjoy our collection of cow and milk jokes? But seriously, apart from being a source of milk, cows also have the whackiest colors, look like theyre always chewing gum, and are usually harmless. Marty's big moment, however, comes at the dance when she sidles up to host Vince Fontaine to flirt and hopefully make him dance with her. } At meetings with friends, family or even during breaks at work, telling dirty jokes of all kinds is always a good method to guarantee laughter from the staff . 32. ? What happened when the cow tried to jump the new barbed wire fence the farmer built? 20. A father who tells his son: What do you call a cow with two legs? What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen? Are animals funny? Have you seen all jokes? Did you hear about the new cow version of the latest Will Smith movie? An, Why are cats bad storytellers? And they're like, "hey, that's not milk!". What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? -Pepe, Pepe, take off your glasses, youre nailing your glasses on me! I was in ancient Rome listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Caesar. exchange at the slumber party, and all her other little reactions. Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Throw in your dirty laundry. Cow says who? At that very same carnival, there's a pie-throwing game in service of the teachers' retirement fund. How do you organize an outer space party? He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. 13. His, What's the difference between a fish and a piano? There could be serious consequences if you take more than the suggested amount. 28. 11. The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Masturbation always leads to sex. "The milk is ruined! High steaks. (Gently shakes 4 y/o), Having lunch and milkshakes with the family. Milkshake Jokes A drunk walks into a library. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. At the least, youll have a new-found appreciation for these incredible animals. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Where do cows take each other on a dates? What did the cow say to all her friends? 12. Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows? -And she does it during, after, before 22. 27. You can help deepen their love for the mooing mammal by showing them just how funny these hilarious animals can be through jokes. Burger joints.77. Get ready to be amoosed. One-liner dirty jokes to keep short and simple. Why wouldn't the 2 cows talk to each other? 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Most of her big moments are quiet: the way she scrunches her face when she says "uh huh" during "Summer Nights," the "dummy he's a marine!" 5. The fun-loving grandmother Whats between mommys legs, daddy cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. -Could she put on her, please Titus Andronicus: Act 4, Scene 2. What do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow? A milkshake. * And me replies the second- but I dont have any money. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? He just had to save his friend. 18. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. Cows are pretty legen-dairy so of course, theres an abundance of clever jokes that will make your child giggle about how funny these farm animals really are. Women of a certain age will have watched it over and over again throughout their lives, sharing inside jokes with friends, family members, and colleagues. * Because of how long and hard Well, if your wife comes, there will be three of us Freckles, son My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder. "Should we walk home or. What are cow knees called? Just remember: Dark humor is like food. He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake. What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster? 34. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, screaming:WHYYYY!!?? Why did the farmer wear a peg on his nose when he milked his cow? 7. "), if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { My sister found some startling news about Mcdonalds. Make sure you show up on time, otherwise Bessie will have a cow. That is, if it even registered in the first place. 25. -Excuse me, sir, this is for a survey: does his wife yell at him when they make love jokideo.com. A milk dud.83. The woman of the 21st century would build her own castle. Honey, Im going to build you a castle to make love to you like a queen . From the outset, Rizzo is not interested in taking part in the conversations surrounding Sandy's summer romance. In other words, my son had his first milkshake. It was udder devastation. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird.