He'd say to me often when I show concern for his well being that he wasn't used to that. Anonymous. I'm so confused! Hell keep stringing along women, playing the game, for as long as he possibly can. If you hold him accountable but keep getting the same answer with no action, he is stringing you along. You might try to listen to what other women have to say about him, especially his exes. Read on to learn the answer. I thought I agreed with this statement, until recently. I said I felt the same way and waited for him to propose another date. Why do guys string you along? He doesnt ask about your interests, or your hopes and dreams. [Read: How to take a relationship slow, but not so slow that it ends]. by Mind games, especially when coupled with passive-aggressive behavior, exist to dis-empower the victim, and make them feel superior for it. You might even believe him for a while. He may be taking it slow, but he probably sees a future with you, so theres no reason to hide you from people who are important to him. I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. Nothing is more frustrating than dating . //]]>, by 7. 5. If weve been talking for months and I say Im not sure, its probably because I dont want a relationship with her. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Even if your ex indicates that he or she is considering getting back together, they are not. Men who string girls along are in it for attention. Making a confused ex want you back. Its like he just communicates with you on a whim and you dont know what to expect. Whats really behind the mixed signals? He may not invite you to his family reunion, but he wont avoid others when hes with you. Im Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. Conversely, the most common tell-tale sign of dragging you along is marked by avoidance or silencing you when you try to broach a conversation about where the relationship is going. It leaves you flustered, lost, and unsure how to act. (13 Ways Sex Affects Men Emotionally), Excuses to Get Out of The House to Cheat (13 Good Excuses), How Being Cheated On Changes You (7+ Unimaginable Ways), How To Find Out If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On His Phone (5 Sneaky Ways), How To Tell If A Guy Has Had Sex Recently (8 Obvious Signs), How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair? That is unfair and sort of dishonest. He doesnt bother to call first unless he wants something from you. And so long as they tell it to you straight, its fine. But what kind? He calls you when he wants to (which is seldom) and usually when he wants something. Maybe he isnt doing it on purpose. Heres a thing about self-love, it helps you realize when youre not getting enough from the relationship. Now that we clarified the meaning of taking it slow, lets find out if he is actually doing that or if he is in fact, just stringing you along for a bit of fun on the side. [Read: When to define the relationship 20 signs it might be right now]. You should be the person setting the pace here. This guy isnt trying to impress you. He might give you a reaction if you manage to say something interesting, but it feels half-heartedlike hes just saying it to be polite. Stringing along someone means that you KNOW deep down you don't like the person enough but you keep them around as an "option", or you are just waiting for something better. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). This is totally fine so long as both people involved know what theyre getting into. The fact is, most guys who use this strategy convince themselves into believing that they have good intentions. You are being strung along. If you're the one making all the calls, plans, sending text messages, then it sounds like it's a one-way street. That's clear. If hes inconsistent and doesnt like talking about the future, then chances are that hes stringing you along. The most common reason guys string women along is that theyre not ready to commit to you or the relationship for one reason or another, according toDr. Ish Major, a psychiatrist, dating expert, and author of Little White Whys (Amazon). Hes sneaky about watching it but I catch him all the time. You hope he is nervous or hesitant because of his past or maybe he is just super respectful. Sure, some people prefer to live in the moment and say things like whatever will be, will be instead of daydreaming about their future with you. When youre wondering, is he stringing you along or taking it slow, you are probably hoping for taking it slow. Love is action word. To him, youre a pastime. Its not easy for a guy to let a girl know that hes not that into her or that its not working for him, and hed like to end things because he doesnt want to hurt your feelings. I dont really ever want to put a lover on hold unless there is a problem in relations. One who will put up with their unavailability, not pressure them into anything "serious," and someone they can string along. Pearl Nash So what does he do? He leaves you hanging. He is flirting with other girls at the same time; 11. Talk to him. However, this time, be smarter and curious and give yourself enough time to get to know him. Each time she would make the statement, I would quickly respond with my usual nope they dont; and lets not forget the shake of the head in disgust that was usually accompanied by this response. Listen to that little voice in your head warning you of his wandering eye. He's genuinely looking forward to seeing what's in store forthe two of you, and he isn't afraid to admit it. The guy who's stringing you along will leave you hanging mid-sentence because he's out with the bros, or probably on another date. You certainly ruined a good thing, do not fall for his blame game. [Read: Am I being ghosted? Every morning I woke up to a morning text which made me feel very special. Black women In fact, it may worry and stress you out even more. Ask them what is going on. You are nowhere near his main priority. Im 56 and I do not understand yet he thinks its no big deal. He's a master at dodging the bullet, and you can never count on definite plans with him. All dumpers know is that they must focus on their own wants and needs and get what they want from their ex. 1. [Read:The signs he just wants sex and is only using you for his enjoyment]. Is he 30m stringing me 32f along? What do you want? They think that if they move on and the guy changes his mind, then theyll have lost out. He is riding a roller coaster of your emotions. You might be tempted to flirt on other men just to get him territorial over you, and the attention you may get would make you feel good for sure. Hes saying that so that youll attach yourself to him with no expectations on his conduct, so now he canact as he pleases. He knows that the mistakes started much earlier in the night than just the sex with the rando. Its essential to understand what it means and pay attention to behavioral patterns, so as to ascertain if a guy is doing this. It's hard to admit this, but he might just not be that into you. He might text you 24/7 one day, and then not or another week. Does he actively try to sustain the relationship, or is he just stringing it along? Of course, again and again, he will throw in some romance now and then to make sure you would still be by his side. He leaves it up to you to initiate contact. Or does it mean youre going on dates or just sharing the couch and Netflix? You won't be able to change that so there's really no way out of this. Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you! You are not a real friend. He was devastated when I told him we might not be able to be friends after this. Is The Guy You Like Stringing You Along? By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. How do you stop a guy from stringing you along? There are probably things about you that he enjoys . When you try booking a date with him, you can show up super early only for him to ghost you. Chances are that hes setting you aside because hes not entirely sure about your relationship. You might see him online in social media all the time and talking to other people but not you. And without trust, what have you? If he says yes, ask yourself if you can trust his word. One minute he acts as if he wants to be with you. Our goal is to make your ex realize that their life would be infinitely better with you by their side. So as cute as it may seem sometimesmind games have become romanticized in the media for some reasonyou should be alarmed if he plays mind games on you. Originally Posted by Frihed89 You think he's stringing you along. You consider all the reasons in your head (and with a little social network snooping) why hes acting different. Just because a guy was not good for you does not mean that someone different wont be your perfect match. His ex recently got back in touch after 3 years when she broke up with her most recent boyfriend. Ask for exclusivity This guy probably has no plans to pursue a serious relationship, that could affect you a lot. Theyre a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge. Please answer if possible. It also means that he trusts you enough to be part of his friend circle, and that either you're the one for him, or that if you ever break up you won't turn his friends against him. He might even go out of his way to make sure you are feeling cared about regardless of him taking it slow. They really dont know what they want one of my girlfriends would often say in reference to the men she was dating. All rights reserved. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. One option is to end things with himand move on. Walking away is a different thing from cutting him off from your life entirely. Life isnt a romantic novel and there are better uses of your time. Epic guide, 4 ways your personality shapes your love life. Although relationship timelines are meaningless and each relationship moves at its own pace, it needs to work for both of you. Mind games are, as a rule of thumb, not a good thing to see in a relationship. Talk about what your ideal pace is. When he's spending his time with you, his thoughts will still occasionally drift to her. And, sadly, most women misread this as love, but its not. Maybe you had plans to meet at 7:00, but as you are walking out the door to meet him, he calls and said something suddenly came up and he cant meet you. Because its a waste of everyones time. string someone along to maintain someone's attention or interest, probably insincerely. You should always try to talk to him about it before you cut him off, but be ready to drop the relationship when its clearly not serving you anymore. 4 Signs He's Stringing You Along. In effect, hes keeping his options open. He cared that he'd hurt & disappointed me. He will say things like, We should see that movie when it comes out, or, We should try that restaurant next time. It may seem small, but this shows he has the intent of seeing you more often. It hurts like hell to realize that the person youre with is not interested in you but is with you for other reasons. If he does cry or open up but wont support you when you do the same, he is only in it for himself. He thinks you're OKAY with this. So make up your mind not to tolerate him anymore and cut him off if you have to. 9. He's looking for something casual. He Has Too Many Past Situations 2 FAQs He needs A shoulder to cry on, and it doesnt have to be yours. A guy who sees something with you, even when taking it slow will make plans for the weekend. He wont be taking you out to eat. He wants to share his life with his girl! He can tell that youre falling in love with him, but he cant bring himself to say to you that the feelings not mutual. Its psychological abuse, and studies show just how harmful it can be to you and the relationship as a whole. It might be confusing when he is stringing you along because he might lovebomb you. If he admits he is taking things slow because hes fresh out of a relationship, great. He may be confused himself, perhaps? All men are not confused, all the time when it comes to dating and pursuing a woman. 10. Because hes inconsistent with his communication and because hes flakey, you often wonder if hes ghosted you. He will still talk to you the same amount. You see, believe it or not, the minute a guy rejects you, you begin to question yourself. You cannot spend your only shot at life hoping that a guy steps up. They reason that when you get fed up and demand more, he owes you nothing, and its your problem for reading too much into the relationship. I'm very confused. If you were nodding your head while saying thats him in every sign mentioned above, then he MIGHT actually be stringing you along. Search for a thread. 1 7 Signs A Man Is Just Stringing You Along 1.1 1. It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. And if his relationship with his family is good, then his family as well. You begin to fall for him, but he doesnt feel the same. Dont be afraid to cut him off. He goes out to party all by himself, hangs out with his friends without bothering to invite you or give you even a simple heads-up, and doesnt do much together with you. He will invite you to his friends party or introduce you to his roommates. B) Serious about a relationship. The subtle, must-know details, Is he a commitment-phobe whos afraid of a relationship? A promise to be faithful to one another. He Wants Something Casual The most common reason guys string women along is that they're not ready to commit to you or the relationship for one reason or another, according to Dr. Ish Major, a psychiatrist, dating expert, and author of " Little White Whys " ( Amazon) He wants you to be the one to question and then end the relationship. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! He knows youre vulnerable, and hes a user. There should be an ease of association by now. He leaves you chasing after breadcrumbs, starving you of attention until he suddenly floods you with attention. Some may be ready to move forward with relationships, but the majority arent prepared for commitment. He's getting away with far too many red flags, and sometimes, you just can't help butlet him. If you are confused by a guys actions, ask him whats up. Last Updated March 2, 2023, 2:46 am. //