Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Do these guys have game? Waldo: I can't talk to girls. But, I'd be willing to pay you. You have the right to have an attorney present. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. You can do it! Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. Eddie borrowed money from me. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? right next to the bathroom. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. You gotta fix that machineeeee. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Steve Urkel: Whoa. She's mine! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Carl: What? Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. I wanna read it to my mom. Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? What do you have to say for yourselves? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! I tried to help you! I'm getting dizzy. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' You are under arrest! That wasn't a rock video. Urkel pronouns are the best. Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. So go ahead, FIRE ME! Steve Urkel: How tough am I? 2023. The next minute rump roast! He introduced himself and I was immediately struck by deep brown eyes, his engaging sense of humor and how delicately he handled my cantalopes. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Dadadadada! Not name your state. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? From now on, no parties and no TV. [laughs]. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? I don't know what to say. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Can you carry me home? I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Would you rather be buried or cremated? ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. I'm cooking breakfast. He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Laura Lee Winslow: No! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Clarence has under control. I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again. . Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Harriette: Soon, baby. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. We're getting dirty looks from old people! That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Steve who? Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Laura: No! Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary. Judy Winslow: Boring. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Bright side? Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? It's either a number or a letter! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? Waldo: I got close once. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. "I heard you are looking for a stud. I'm being born! It can't explode or anything? Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Let's keep this one! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Have you taken leave of your senses? Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Waldo, you may go now. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. And I'm sorry. Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! A bee to a blossom. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Laura, please. And from that day on, EVERYBODY could use that library. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. It meant a lot to me. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Does that about cover it? Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Verbs are our friends. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up?
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